Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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