sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize