I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
