My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
