just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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