I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
