Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
