the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
