i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
