what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dignity is for republicans.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
