If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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