Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
