you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
