But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
