i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
