I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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