Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
