____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
