it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
pop tarts are not kleenex
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
