they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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