I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
