ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
