my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
last night I used snow as a chaser
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
