see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just had sex on a roof
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
