btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Randomize
