I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize