I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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