I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
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you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
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Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum