Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.