I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.