The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
