just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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