Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
