I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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