two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
