At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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