It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's rum buckets o'clock
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
