He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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