i just wanna soil my oats bro
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
