I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize