I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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