Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
