You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
