there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
