i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
