i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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