I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize