I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
