Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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