I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
