Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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