Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
handjob tips. give me some.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
