Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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