so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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