Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
how does that bad decision feel?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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