So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You took a bar mat shot.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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