if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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