pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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