Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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