He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
