Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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