I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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