Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i dont even know how to be here
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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