I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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