i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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