it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
