Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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