please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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