the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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