you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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